Letter to Preet Bharara

Dear Preet Bharara,

Anyone can see that you are one of those stuck-up persons of Indian origin who neither speaks nor understands any of our languages, sees no Bollywood films, finds baseball more interesting than cricket, dislikes Indian weddings and never visits India even to pay a ritual obeisance.

It is impossible to believe that you born in Ferozepur, breathed the air we breathe, drank the water we drink and spoke the language we speak at least for a few years migrating to the USA. If it wasn't for your name, it would be difficult to believe that there was anything Indian about you at all.

We hate your good looks, your success and in-your-face un-Indianness. But most of all we hate the fact that you still sport an Indian name. In fact, you had a better chance of getting away with a name like Peter Bleach. Remember how easily we let him go? You could, of course argue that the charges against him were simple smuggling of lethal weapons whereas you are charged of actually waging war against India.  

Truth be told it was for this reason that we did our best to pass you off as a Khalistani carrying the baggage of the Sikh pogrom but as more and more people googled, this lie became difficult to sustain. Usually we don’t allow facts to come in the way of our prejudices but this time we somehow capitulated.

In a nutshell we hate you. At least as much as we think you hate us. We think you wish to destroy everything we have always stood for. Our culture, our values, our petulance and our prejudices.

Having said all that, destiny has forced us to deal with each other. It seems you will not easily relent. Neither will we; certainly not before the next scandal hits the ceiling by early next week. And so let me make one last ditch effort to save our two democracies from mutual destruction.

As you may know we are an ancient culture. There is much that we have thrown away but there is a lot we have retained too. Am listing some of the rich traditions we continue to cherish which you will do well to consider.

1.     Naukars, more recently referred to as domestic help, are to listen, obey and perform. Not to talk back or complain. That a naukar could report a sahib to the police even if provoked by someone, cannot be tolerated.  

In our personal value systems cutting across religions and faiths, Sangeeta’s behavior was unacceptable. Much of the angst against her arises out of this simple insight. By daring Devyani, she dared one of us and that is unacceptable. The naukar must realize his or her place.

2.     Entering into two contracts is no crime in our country. For us it is easy to understand that what we write for ‘official purposes’ can be different from the truth.

Whether it is adding names in the ration-card or under-declaring our age we understand perfectly that truth can have different dimensions. No less than a recent Army Chief had to content with two dates of birth and no one in India found it odd.

3.     Paying Devyani just a fraction of the minimum wage is no crime. Many among us don’t manage to make a lac a month till we are in our forties or fifties and sometimes not even then.

To think that anyone among us would be foolish enough to pay a lac a month even including notional costs for boarding/lodging to a servant is absurd.

No matter how much the government may increase  overseas allowances etc, no Indian worth his or her salt will actually pay a lac a month to his/her domestic help. Just think of it as a culture thing.

4.     There are no ‘working hours’ for domestic help living on the premises. If she is at home and available, she is assumed to be available for work. This  does not, by the way, mean that the employees are forced to work round-the-clock. In most cases domestic help work up to 10 to 12 hours with a couple of hours of rest thrown in.

5.     Holidays and weekly-offs are an exception and not the rule though most employers do give a few hours off on Sundays to go to the church, temple or gurudwara. They do usually get a paid vacation for a month or so.

Unsurprisingly, most of us believe it was Sangeeta Richard who cast the first stone and deserves to be punished. And that pretty Devyani should be be honored for having given us a chance to fight for our dignity.

You, Preet Bharara, in a spirit of vendetta are throwing a rule book at us. Rules to us in India? Maybe you should visit us for a few days.

And go back to live in serendipity just as we do.

Regards

Preet K S Bedi